Day 86

When I started this blog, I thought I'd be posting more than once a week, for sure, but I guess I shouldn't have had such high hopes. I haven't had anything blog-worthy in the last week, so instead of just cramming the page with boring filler, I thought I'd hold off until I really had something good. Quality over quantity, right? But then came today... right now, actually... when I decided to say screw it and just write whatever comes to mind. We can revisit the "quality over quantity" idea when it's all over.

So anyway, I am now in my 13th week of pregnancy and happy as a clam to be finally about to move out of the dreaded first trimester and into the more exciting (and comfortable, from what I've heard) second. I can't really complain too much about the last few weeks, though. I've been pretty lucky with minimal "morning sickness," and fortunately haven't had to steer completely clear of restaurants, grocery stores or my own kitchen. I've had some food aversions, but I look at them as more of a blessing than anything since they make choosing what to eat a lot easier for me. It doesn't take nearly as long to make up my mind when I have fewer options to choose from.

One thing that I have been hit pretty hard with is the crazy mood swings. Things that typically irritate me a little bit are cause for some serious flipping out these days, and it's really, honestly and truly out of my control. I feel like Sybil, although instead of having 13 different personalities, I just have two: Normal, Fairly Level-Headed Teri, or Endless PMS from Hell Teri. There are days when I don't think Normal Me even gets out of bed. I was feeling sorry for Leah and Jennie, because I really have had some major hot and cold moments with them, but then realized they're used to that for having to deal with it every other week anyway, so it's not so bad, right? At least with me it's only temporary and my psychotic tendencies will (should) end soon.

I would say I feel sorry for D having to deal with the craziness, too, but he ignores me anyway, so I don't think he even notices.

Being a bit on the unstable side probably wouldn't be so bad if I didn't feel like someone was sticking a spear through my head every day. And it's not like it's just one spear either. No. It's like a different one every day, in a different location. Today it's in the upper lefthand region of my head. Tomorrow it might be right between my eyes, or maybe it'll be behind my ear or at the base of my skull. There's no way to know until it happens. Surprises sure are fun!

I'm still having the crazy/awesome dreams every night, and they're even getting a little easier to almost remember! At some point I really am going to take a notepad and pen to bed with me so I can write it all down when I wake up thinking how I just can't wait to tell everyone what my brain did this time! It's so much fun and really bums me out when I think about all the good stories I've already wasted. One of these days...

Oh! Happy baby talk! I bought my very first baby outfit online last week. A coupon from Gymboree came in the mail and of course I had to use it. D asked when it expires, like we should wait to use it until the very last minute. Screw that! We had until the end of March, but it was already burning a hole in my figurative pocket! I had to do something with it, stat! So I did. I bought a really cute little monkey outfit (not a costume) and just can't wait until it gets here!

I also bought my very first piece of maternity clothing. I just happened to be wandering aimlessly around the 'net yesterday and came across the cutest maternity top I have ever seen. And it was on sale! 50% off! Who can say no to that, right? So I ordered it. I wasn't going to, but I was in a bit of a mood and needed something to cheer me up. It worked, but not as well as my Blades of Glory video does! I was having another moment yesterday when I needed something to make me laugh and I just turned that on and it was like magic! Skate dude really made my day. If he only knew... (I'd load it here but it was taking too long.)

But anyway, back to the matter at hand. I'm pregnant. And I imagine I'm dealing with what all pregnant women deal with, even though I feel like there's no freakin' way anyone else could ever be as out of her mind and ridiculously bitchy as I've found myself to be lately. But I've been told it's normal, and it shall pass. For everyone's sake, including my own, but mostly everyone else's, I sure hope that's true!

Day 79

Is it strange that all I want to eat today are popcicles and peanut butter toast? I wasn't really thinking much of it until after my 4th popcicle and 3rd piece of toast. Then I got to thinking... is this what "cravings" are all about? Because I sure wouldn't think so. It's not like I just have to have it. It's more that they're the only things that sound at all appealing to me today. I'm not complaining. The popcicles are quite refreshing and the peanut butter toast is... well... peanut butter toast. What more is there to say about that? It's just plain good!

But here's something that I do think is strange... I had a dream last night that I accidentally flushed some dude from high school's drugs down the toilet. Isn't that odd? I should be dreaming about breastfeeding and baby bonnets, but instead my brain is conjuring up images of me wasting someone's stash. And I felt bad about it! That part wouldn't be so weird if I liked the guy at all, but he was a complete tool, like so many others were back then. I don't get it. I really need to start writing these things down when they wake me up at night, partially so I can tell better stories, but also because I'm thinking maybe the rest of the dream would explain to me what was really going on in there.

On another note... I have the day off work today and had fully intended to spend it just relaxing and doing whatever strikes my fancy and not worrying about a thing. But instead, I find myself sitting here thinking about all my laundry that eventually needs to be put away, the laundry that still needs to be done and folded so we all have clothes to wear this week and how I really must go to the grocery store today and wondering how in the hell it's already almost 2pm. The day is almost over and I've only gotten about a one hour nap and absolutely nothing else done! Well, nothing other than devouring a few popcicles and PB toast, but that doesn't count. And now I'm kinda stressing about it all because I really hate folding laundry and even though most of it's clean, the sucky part (folding) is still there waiting to be done, AND it's really cold outside and I don't even want to think about going to the store even though we won't have dinner tonight or the rest of the week unless I do.

And to top it all off... there's nothing good on TV. The winter olympics are apparently more important than Ellen (seriously?), Wendy Williams makes me angry, Days of Our Lives kinda freaks me out and Hoarders is just creepy! Perhaps I'll take another nap. The rest can wait a bit.

Day 75

Not much happening the past couple days. Every pregnancy book I’ve read seems to imply, or flat-out say, that I should be getting some porn star boobs any day now, but that sure isn’t happening. Yeah, they’ve plumped up a bit but I haven’t had to buy a new bra yet (that’s how I’m gauging my progress), so it must not be that big of a difference. I know I don’t really need them for anything too important for a few more months, but thought it’d be fun to have some natural enhancement in that area before becoming so obviously pregnant. Maybe I’m being impatient, but I’m ready to get this show on the road!

Of course there have been some changes… My pants are getting a bit tighter in the waist, even though the scale hasn’t moved much. If anything, it’s gone down just a little. Gotta lose those last few stubborn pounds before it’s really time to start piling ‘em on! I think it just looks like maybe I had a couple extra biscuits for breakfast or something. As far as anyone who’s not “in the know” knows, it’s nothing a few crunches couldn’t fix.

And then there’s my mood. My, how that has been a roller coaster ride from hell lately! I think I’m on the upside of the never-ending hormonal swing for now, though, so I guess that’s a plus. You’d have to ask everyone around me to know for sure, though. I could just be delusional. That would be a real shocker, I’m sure.

Another change has been how wiped out I am, ALL the time. It’s like I wake up and am ready to go right back to bed and stay there. But since I can’t do that, I do try to get a nap in whenever possible… at lunch, after work, before dinner, after dinner, before bedtime. You get the picture. And with all the sleeping I’ve been doing, dreams are still happening, of course, but I don’t remember them as well as I usually do when I’m not prego. It’s a bummer, because I really do enjoy what my brain does while I’m asleep, but I don’t think there’s much I can do about it. I do, however, know that I had the baby the other night and it was a girl. But then later in the same dream it was a boy. Not sure what that means, but it seemed totally normal at the time. And then the dream I had last night is on the tip of my brain right now, but I can’t quite bring it back. I think it was a pretty good one, too. Oh well. Maybe next time. I’ll keep you posted.

Originally Posted Feb. 9th

Pregnant Pauses - Day 73

Ok, so I know this is my first real post and "Day 73" in the title might be a bit misleading, but here's the deal... Day 73 is referring to my pregnancy. In some weird way, the medical profession claims that I'm that many days into my pregnancy. In reality, however, I'm about 14 days less pregnant than that. But we'll stick with what the docs say. They're the experts. Anyway...

This blog was originally going to be about the many very strange dreams that I've been having since getting knocked up. But then I realized that I rarely remember them long enough to actually write anything in-depth once I get the chance. It would be something like, "So I had this really weird dream last night. I was in a jeep driving down a gravel road near my evil grandmother's house, when suddenly the road was flooded and I couldn't turn around and the jeep started to float away and I had to climb out the top and luckily the top was off or there was no way I'd ever be able to escape. But the dream ended before I got out, or at least that's the last thing I remember, so I'm not real sure what happened."

I don't know about you, but reading something like that after expecting some really awesome story about the inner workings of some crazy pregnant chick's mind would piss me off. So I decided to make a deal with myself and sometimes include snippets about my journeys through Dreamland, but to also ramble on about the many other ways in which this whole pregnancy thing has made me a wee bit loonier than usual. It'll be great fun, reflecting on the times that I've almost lost my cool and flipped out on some random innocent bystander, or when I've been on my way to someplace I've visited on quite a few occasions, forgot how to get there halfway through the trip and then decided it wasn't worth the time or effort and turned around to try to find my way back home. Or perhaps I'll write about such simple things as how I've forgotten someone's name even though I see them on a daily basis, or how I sometimes can't think of certain ordinary words such as "have" or "potato."

There's really no telling where this blogging thing is going to take us on my way to becoming a real life mommy, so stay tuned. It's gonna be some ride!

Introductory Post - Originally Posted Feb. 9th

Well hello there! I've decided to "document" my pregnancy via this blog. And by document, I just mean that I'm going to write about whatever I feel like sharing on any given day. Feel free to comment if you'd like. Feedback is fun!